Green__Willow (green__willow) wrote,
Green__Willow
green__willow

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Fish

Okay folks, I have a question for you that may well effect the writing of my books.


Barring sharks, piranhas, and anything non-FISH from the party, which fish would you most NOT want to meet in the water?


I'm not making a distinction between fresh and salt-water breeds, just looking for what you think are the Bad Guys of the underwater world.
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Demon whalebitersI Umm, okay, I guess they're a breed of shark. Candiru, though apparently reports have been greatly exaggerated. Barracudas, if they're not also a kind of shark. Giant catfish, from what you've told me about them. Moray eels, if eels count.
Eels do indeed cound, and barracuda aren't sharks, so they're in too.

The Candiru's evil reputation isn't a myth. the little bastards are every bit as evil as the stories, which are true, say. The man in question and his doctor did an interview on River Monsters, complete with the preserved candiru that got him.

It is worth noting for postarity that candiru are a member of the Amazonian River Mafia, also known as the Catfish Family. Seriously, fuck catfish. With a chainsaw, since apparently they're not at all afraid of penises.
Candiru truly are evil, but it's not true that if one stands on the bank and pees in the river, the candiru will swim up the stream of pee into one's privates. They probably would if they could, but the Physics Police don't stand for that shit.

Chainsaw, definitely. The only thing that would ever get me into the Amazon would be a forest fire on the bank, and that will never happen because I am never, never going there. Indeed, I very strongly feel that nobody should ever go there - that the entire region, and all the other inhospitable regions of the planet, ought to be left to them what evolved there.

Do Moray eels count? They're very mesmerizingly pretty, but boy can they fuck you up.